Nine times I wanted to say 'I like you'
by halcyonranhuer
Summary: 'I really like you, Kageyama.' So my heart says, my mouth doesn't however. Confessions are difficult, even Hinata finds it so. KageHina pairing. One-shot.


**Ok I know I have stories to complete. But let's say this fic is written on a whim, because I felt especially mushy. **

**In Doujins, Hinata and Kageyama have been somewhat portrayed as people who directly care-freely say their feelings (one way or another), but I was wondering, in reality, I think they do think about it a lot more. Like get flustered and confused and not acting like themselves at all. **

**Based on Hinata's POV. **

**Please enjoy. **

* * *

**Nine times I wanted to say 'I like you'.**

**First time:**

Had words in his head ever been so difficult to convey?

It was strange. Every time he could easily say whatever stayed in his head, be it good or bad, he never hesitated.

Because he was idiot, they all said.

But Hinata Shouyo was no idiot, after all why would hide behind pillars to hear a confession at a deserted stairway?

Kageyama Tobio always received confessions, isn't it normal?

His heart was palpitating. There had been a long silence ever since the girl had said her words.

"It'll be troublesome." Came the reply.

Hinata's head subsequently became a mess.

These feelings… he had forgotten when it started. But because he was no idiot, it came to him faster than ever. He had thought about things he never thought, fantasized about things he never did.

Yet when it boiled down this… he didn't know how to call out to the other.

"It'll be troublesome, eh?" He smiled sadly. Or should he be happy that Kageyama rejected her?

He didn't know. He really wished he was a complete idiot.

**Second time:**

He saw the girls slipping in love letters in Kageyama's shoebox again.

Was that a good way to convey love?

"Why are you in my classroom?"

"Because I need your help. Tsukishima is very smart right?" Hinata rocked on an empty chair.

"There is no way whatever I teach will go into the head of an idiot." The blond pushed up his glasses.

"If I wrote a love letter, will it convey my feelings?" Hinata asked despite the other's answer.

Tsukishima paused and looked up. Hinata had never looked this serious before- beside volleyball.

"Well, but your Kanji's a mess. You sure whoever will understand what you are trying to say?"

"That's why I'm asking for your help." Hinata muttered.

"But that is not how you do things right?" Tsukishima said. Hinata didn't reply.

That Megane was right.

**Third time:**

Everyone practiced hard for volleyball, aiming to do their best in the upcoming competition.

"What are you doing, dumbass Hinata? You don't receive the ball like that!"

"ARGH I am sorry!" Hinata took a peek at Kageyama, who after screaming at him, suddenly turned away quickly.

Why did he do that?

He proceeded to look around, there wasn't anyone nearby. Should he say it?

"Kageyama, how do you find love?"

The raven head looked at him with a weirded face.

"Well I think it is interfering in my volleyball practice?"

"Then what if it is someone who plays volleyball with you?"

_What if it is me?_

"I guess it is ok."

"Hey you guys. Get back into the court!" Sawamura, volleyball captain waved to them. Kageyama went ahead and Hinata stayed for a moment, his face flushing.

Yet he felt slightly defeated, he couldn't say it.

**Fourth time:**

They were on their way home back from volleyball practice.

Hinata and Kageyama both had hot piping pork buns. However the orange head wasn't into eating it. Rather, he focused on the other beside him.

Ten minutes of silence passed, when they hit the point near the train track.

He promised himself he would say it this time round. He had enough courage, didn't he?

"Kageyama-"

"Aren't you eating? The meat bun's getting cold." The taller interrupted as he finished his last bite.

"Huh? No, I wanted to say…" Hinata felt his ears turning red, fingers laced with perspiration.

"I like you." (Sounds of trains dashing across the railway track)

The train passed.

"Huh, sorry what did you say? I didn't hear you 'cause the train went by." Kageyama scratched his head and saw Hinata looking down.

"Oi Hinata."

"It's nothing." He quickly replied.

**Fifth time:**

He was at the back of the school buildings, near the vending machines when he saw Kageyama with another girl again.

_Another confessio_n? He thought wearily, _that makes three this month_.

Those girls are really brave. He smiled silently, as he sat down in a corner.

_I am really not manly, aren't I? _

"What the hell are you doing out here?" He was jolted out by his thoughts, when he saw Kageyama looming over him.

"It was a confession scene wasn't it?" Hinata replied.

Kageyama didn't say anything until after a short moment of silence.

"More importantly, didn't you come here to say anything to me?"

Hinata paused.

_What should I say? _

"Haha." He smiled (forcefully), "I came here to buy a drink."

**Sixth time:**

The sound of volleyball drowns out everything, including painful feelings.

You can just stuff them aside.

"I heard XXX and YYY are dating."

"Aren't they both guys?"

"It's disgusting."

Hinata stopped walking. He looked to the ground, and then charged to the volleyball gym ahead. Yet fate had to test him, Kageyama stood inside, tossing a ball.

"Toss me your balls." Hinata said while the raven head looked on in shock.

"Huh?"

"I don't want to receive anything but your tosses."

_I don't want to receive rejection. _

_I really want to say I like you now. _

Hinata tried not to cry.

_My love... was after all disgusting?_

**Seventh time:**

"Hinata, you look sorta dead." One of his friends poked his cheeks.

"Like you have been rejected." The other laughed.

"I think I might be." Hinata replied tiredly.

"Ehhh, our lil' Hinata has gotten pass the line of innocence!"

"So did you confess to a cute chick?"

"Not yet, I didn't dare." Hinata sighed. "I'll get rejected anyway."

"That doesn't sound like the Hinata we know."

It was somewhat true. Foreign concepts are always new to him, yet he had been open minded to them. Since when had he been so scared of approaching?

"By the way, I heard Kageyama got into a fight."

"Huh?" Hinata stood up in shock.

"Kageyama!" He called for him after practice. "Your face?"

"Nothing much. You wanted to say something? Seems like more important stuff than my face."

"Uhh..."

"Oh there you are guys! Let's go get ice cream after this!" Nishinoya called out.

Kageyama gave a tired sigh and looked at him again.

"Yeah, I wanted to say we should get ice cream after this." Hinata then grinned. For some reason, he didn't know why Kageyama frowned.

**Eighth time:**

Hinata felt sick. He caught a cold.

"You shouldn't go to school today."

He looked at the phone screen, messages displaying. All of them telling him to get well soon. Then he saw Kageyama's number, other than a few short texts, they never really conversed at all.

He felt a little disappointed actually. Kageyama didn't send a text at all. Even the 'cold hearted' Tsukishima did, despite it being quite laced with sarcasm.

I.

Like.

You.

He typed the words. Yet he couldn't bring himself to send it.

He wondered why, before drifting off to sleep.

**Ninth time (Final):**

Had words in his head ever been so difficult to convey?

He sat at the park somewhat near from school. It was evening, the sky with a mixture of orange and blue and the sun in a dying golden.

The day was almost ending. The park was empty yet silently peaceful.

The days also passing as usual. Quarrelling, fighting, shouting and being confused altogether, for three months.

He remembered some female students saying that love would die after a period, something about the body's natural reaction to attraction.

So why wouldn't his feelings die?

Then it wouldn't cause so many complications, right?

So much pain in the chest.

"I like you, Kageyama." He said it out loud. Looking at the leaves being stirred up by the wind, he hoped his words would go away and with the feelings as well.

And by tomorrow, they wouldn't exist anymore.

* * *

**I hope the characters are not ooc or anything. I am thinking of writing Kageyama's POV. **

**...**

**...**

**...**

**You seriously thought I would end it here? **

"That is something you should say to me much much earlier, dumbass Hinata."

He spun around in shock. For some reason, his vision was slightly blurry and his nose prickled a little.

"What?"

"You like me right?" Hinata then realized that he was crying.

"You don't have to feel sympathy for me. They'll be all gone tomorrow. I promise."

Hinata felt his head against something warm and more heat enveloped his back.

Kageyama's arms.

"Shut up. I fucking like you too."

**Nine times I wanted to say 'l like you'.**

"I-l li-ke you t-oo!"

"I can't fucking hear you with all the tears." Yet with his blurry eyes, Hinata saw that Kageyama was smiling.

**The tenth time I did.**

**-OWARI-**


End file.
